


Don't Go To That Place

by joyfulsongbird



Category: Hadestown - Mitchell
Genre: F/M, nothing graphic, some talk of past abuse, trigger warning: some kind of panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 16:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21359050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyfulsongbird/pseuds/joyfulsongbird
Summary: Headcanon it’s based on: “eurydice will have these little moments where she gets all quiet, and Orpheus used to think she was just zoning out, but it was really her going back to a time where she was always told to “speak when spoken to” and all that crap.”this is one of the first times it happened, before Orpheus really knew what was happening and before Eurydice learned to deal with them. it’s a bit more dramatic than I thought it was gonna be.Trigger warnings: some sort of a panic attack (based on my personal experiences with them, I do not speak for everyone), a little talk of past abuse
Relationships: Eurydice/Orpheus (Hadestown)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Don't Go To That Place

Eurydice is too quiet, Orpheus notices it right away when they get to the bar for the concert. It’s one of the few concerts that he isn’t playing at and they thought that they should attend and show their support for Orpheus’ fellow bandmates, some of whom are in the band that are playing. An hour ago, she was looking forward to it, excited even. she likes music, and loves singing, so they both of course have been excited for this event.

but when they get to the bar, her lips are sealed together, something deep in her eyes that he can’t place. sadness? no, not quite. fear? still no, but he’s getting closer. he opens the door for her, and she hesitates before walking through the doorway. glancing his way for half a second.

they take their seats near the front of the room, and she drops into her spot right away, not even stopping to say hello to Hermes, clutching her hands close to her stomach. he follows her direct line of sight, but all that she’s staring at is the wall. nothing of importance that she could be reading or trying to decipher. her face draws a blank, not too long ago they were getting ready together, and she was smiling and laughing and hugged him from behind while he buttoned up his shirt. what happened between then and now? she wasn’t mad at him, what could he have done to make her so angry that she wouldn’t speak to him? Eurydice is an outspoken woman, if she’s upset about something, she’ll say it outloud most of the time.

in a split second decision, he reaches forward, touching her wrist gently with the tips of his fingers. “love, are you-?”

he stops himself, the look on her face when he touches her chills him to the bone, her eyes widened beyond comprehension, lips parted in a way that seems almost in preparation for a scream. she pulls her arm back, shrinking into herself. it horrifies him, that she could ever have such a reaction to him touching her. it makes him want to wash his hands again and again.

and then the band strikes up their first song and he sits back, unsure of what’s going on around him.

he glances over at her, every once in awhile, and she doesn’t speak once, doesn’t smile once, barely moves a muscle the first half of the concert. and when they break for a brief intermission, Orpheus stands right away.

“Eurydice, will you come to the bathroom with me?” she stands, brushing out the wrinkles of her dress.

“Okay.” is the answer that she gives, short, terse, her lips barely moving.

he doesn’t lead her to the bathroom, instead he walks behind the bar, opening the door into the storage room where they keep all of their cans and nonperishable foods for the bar. he switches on the light above them, while Eurydice slowly closes the door behind them. Orpheus can’t help but notice that she leaves it open a tiny crack, letting the bright light of the bar seep into the golden glow of the light bulb above their heads.

“what’s going on?” Orpheus asks frantically, when her attention is finally on him.

“nothing,” she replies without hesitation, it feels almost scripted. “I’m just tired.”

he runs a hand through his hair. “no, no, you aren’t just tired. this isn’t how you act when you’re tired. there’s something going on and I’m trying to understand if you’re upset with me or if something happened that I don’t know about.”

“I’m not upset with you. Nothing happened.”

“then why are you acting so strange?”

“I don’t know, I’m sorry.” her delivery is so emotionless, so off putting, so un-Eurydice-like that he can barely believe that it’s her speaking.

“why are you doing that?” he asks, the idea suddenly dawning on him for the first time.

“I don’t know.” she shifts her weight from foot to foot.

“stop… answering my questions.”

“okay.”

“no!” he shouts, and Eurydice jumps in her skin. he hadn’t even yelled very loudly, it was more of an exclaim than a shout. “I’m sorry, I just… stop doing everything I say, it isn’t like you.”

she doesn’t answer to that, just drops her eyes to the floor, pursing her lips. “love, what happened? please, I want to help in any way I can.”

“don’t say that.” she murmurs.

“why?” it finally seems like they are going to get somewhere, he wants to get to the bottom of this strange act, this awful change in behavior that he can’t put his finger on. “why not? I always say those things. I always help you when I can.”

“you don’t need to do that.” her fists grip the fabric of her dress tightly, knuckles turning white with the effort. she’s practically speaking through gritted teeth. “I can handle things on my own, I don’t your help right now.”

“hey, hey,” he takes a minute step closer. “can I… can I take your hand?”

she thinks on it, before offering her hand to him by lifting it up a few inches, and to his relief, she doesn’t flinch when he takes it. “Eurydice, we agreed that we’d spend our lives together, remember? and- and I promised that I’d hold you forever, and that we’d stay together. remember?”

“yes, I remember.”

“you can’t hold the world on your shoulders while I’m here, I want to bare that weight with you. and whatever is happening, I can’t just watch you like this-”

“just shut up!” as soon as the words leave her mouth, she claps both of her hands over her mouth. her shoulders shaking with dry sobs that draw air from her lungs, she’s only standing there alone and cold from the world for a few seconds before Orpheus sweeps her back up into his arms, falling to sit on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she whispers into the silence, over and over, even as Orpheus shushes her and tells her to stop, she continues it like a chant. A repetitive repeat that almost calms her.

“don’t apologize, please, Eurydice, please, stop.” it’s only when he begins pleading with her that she stops, the words seal her mouth shut again. he just holds her tighter, rocking them both back and forth gently. It’s a long time before either of them speak again, and by then the music has started up again. But they don’t move, they sit and listen for awhile, and finally, Eurydice’s breathing eases up and Orpheus stops rocking the two of them enough so that he’s just holding her and Eurydice wraps her arms around herself, hugging her arms close.

“don’t ask what happened, I’m not even sure myself.” she finally says, in a shaky voice.

“I-I wasn’t going to.” he reaches up to brush her bangs out of her eyes, now slightly damp from sweat. she breathes a deep breath, drawing strength from the closeness of him, and the feel of heartbeat against her shoulder. A comfort.

“Before we left for the bar, I remember thinking about-about my dad for just a couple seconds and then it was like I was thirteen again and every little thing was a huge deal and I couldn’t speak unless spoken to and always answer questions with the correct answer and never be rude and-”

“hey,” he stops her before she can wander back into hysterics, or into an area that she can’t come back from. “you’re back here with me now. that’s good. I’m sorry you had to go back there.”

“I don’t want to go back again.” she shudders in his arms.

“I’ve got you.”

she turns her eyes to meet his, for the first time since they got to the bar, they are clear, a little bloodshot but open and alive. “thank you, Orpheus, for this. For seeing how… wrong I was. Not everyone would’ve done that.”

“I love you, that’s why I did it.”

she lets out a final, breathy laugh. It’s like the signal of the finality of the scene, the drama is over, the epilogue is coming. “you’re too good for me.”

“yeah, I thought we agreed that we aren’t allowed to say those things anymore.” he reminds her.

“I thought I might try.”

“An ‘I love you’ would suffice in telling me how much you care about me.”

“Yeah?” she says. “I love you.”

“that seems better.” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I’m tired, let’s go home early.”

“Let’s listen for a few more minutes, though.” and so they do, letting the events of the evening travel into memory for a bit. The couple will talk about it more later, sooner rather than later actually, but for right now, they admire the music and each other.


End file.
